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Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts

Friday, January 4, 2013

The Bluffer's Prayer


I had a pretty lucky night at a poker game when this idea came to me.  Here's a prayer sure to turn your luck around (inspired by The Lord's Prayer).

The Bluffer's Prayer
Our River which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
My upswing come. Thy will be done in the cards, as it is without.
Give us this hand all the chips.
And forgive us our raises, as we forgive those who have raised against us.
And lead us not into check-raises, but deliver us from bullies: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

Psalm 23 for Materialists

I think I was driving home from somewhere when this idea popped in my head.  Apologies to those favoring more modern language, King James Version continues to hold a special place in my heart.

Psalm 23 for Materialists

Materialism is my shepherd; I shall always want.
It maketh me to lie down in pricey furniture stores: it leadeth me beside the Jacuzzi waters.
It consumes my soul: it leadeth me in the paths of greed for its name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of recession, I will see no evil: for thou art with me; thy early termination fees and thy clearances they comfort me.
Thou preparest a shopping cart before me in the presence of rival Black Friday shoppers: thou anointest my head with expensive hair products; my Big Gulp runneth over.
Surely greed and meaninglessness shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of materialism for ever.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Musical Amateurism

Warning: the following is at rant on the state of pop music that shamelessly derides the music industry.  Reader discretion is advised.

I've been thinking about music and musical instruments lately.  And it occurred to me how odd our current musical experience is.  One of the oldest recorded songs in history dates back to about 1400BCE, but it's likely unrecorded music existed long before that.  My point being that music has always been a very pervasive element in our cultures.  It was performed by average Joes for average Joes, where many (if not all) of the listeners actively took part in the experience.  But this is not reflected in our current musical culture.  We now only passively engage with the music with our stereos, ipods, etc.  And it is largely no longer done by amateurs.  Teams of professionals (of whom the actual artist is often only a small part, as in the case of pop singles).  And the industry that has been built to protect this corporatizing (like the RIAA) and wanting money practically every time someone sings one of their songs is also downright odd, when viewed in the context of most of our musical history.  How can you copyright something so quintessential to the human experience?  (By the way, the RIAA has yet to share a single penny of the settlements they've won with the artists they're supposedly protecting, I refuse to buy an album released by the RIAA).

I think this decline in musical amateurism started with the end of the Baroque period of music, when music began being performed by people whose profession was music and the instruments of choice became more complex (for example, the decline of the recorder).  This was partly because of the growing world economy that made more leisure time possible.  Whereas in the past, as my Western Civ professor put it, "Most of your ancestors were hungry most of the time."  Aristocracies were falling, and more power (politically and economically) was making its way into the hands of the common man.  But even in this period of history, folk music was still alive and well.  And although amateur musicians were no longer the sole source of music, they were still a significant source of it.   This continued for some time, with professional music comprising a larger and larger percentage of the music consumed by the population.  Things changed again, and rather dramatically, with the advent of recorded music.  In the past, it was still very typical for a household to have a means of producing their own music.  A woman was considered more marriageable if she were able to provide this service for her home.  The piano was the most popular choice for this, in my opinion because it arguably has a greater capacity to make a single musician a one man band than any other instrument.  There were other factors as well.  The depression hit, which drove down piano sales considerably, and recorded musical devices became more and more inexpensive.  When these devices became relatively mainstream, it gave households the ability to have music without the need of any musical talent or the cost of maintaining a musical instrument (pianos generally need tuned about twice a year).  This process, as most of you already know has been accelerated many times in recent history, with the advent of radio, CDs, portable players, and the MP3.

While I do still spurn what the pop single culture has become, with its uncreative and sometimes downright unpleasant lyrics, its increasingly heavy use of autotuners, and seeming desire to sell sex rather than musical talent, I do still enjoy the occasional good beat.  What I'm really coming to sense as far as what's been lost over time is musical amateurism.  These days, with the world as your critic, you can't even watch a Youtube video of a little kid plucking out their first tune without reading a comment below of "this kid sukx".  Folk is essentially dead (at least in America).  The closest thing you can get to this amateurism (aside from high school recitals) is Indie.  And several of these bands are just corporate wannabes.  And because of this, it seems to be hard to find bands willing to break the mold being created by the professionals (you might find some on Jamendo).  This lapse in creativity and morality is disturbing.  But so is how passive we've become in our interactions.  This goes for all our interactions like texting your mom instead of talking face to face, but also for our music.  Unless you count what establishments largely built on lecherous recreation, like clubbing joints, our interaction with music and musically with each other is largely minimal.  I'm not saying that I'd like all such establishments shut down and the music industry to die.  Maybe it still has a place in our society, I don't know.  But I would like to see people become more involved in the musical process and increasing the level of creativity in the music listened to by the general populace.  But If singing about getting probed by aliens or getting excited by chains and whips represents the pinnacle of creativity in popular music then

Why not mess around with music in your home?  Get a cheap keyboard ($50), guitar ($40), recorder ($4), tin whistle ($10), fife ($5), or whatever floats your boat and create something!  It can't be any worst than the wares the music industry is currently offering!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Cousins Cousins Cousins

I consistently forget the difference between the various kinds of cousins you can have. Fortunately, I recently found a chart that explains it all (and not just cousins) on Wikipedia:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/00/Relatives_Chart.svg

Monday, October 5, 2009

Things About This Universe That Amuse Me

We live in a weird universe.
  1. There are more species of beetles than any other order the animal kingdom, comprising 25% of all known life-forms.
  2. Humans are the only species that drinks milk from a species other than their own.
  3. There are significantly less than a googol of atoms in the known universe.
  4. Onomatopoeias
  5. Time is relative.
  6. More people have died than are currently alive (6% of all people who had ever existed were alive in 2002).
  7. The chimpanzee genome is 95% identical to the human genome. And up to 95% of our genome may be junk left behind by retroviruses and evolutionary artifacts.
  8. Humans are the only species known to use the smile to express something other than fear and aggression.
  9. ∞ - ∞ != 0.
  10. Human childbirth. How does this not kill us? The infant's skull actually changes shape as it passes through the birth canal.
  11. Human flora. The womb is sterile, but after the family has finished kissing and caressing, 500 to 1000 kinds of bacteria live in the gut, and just as many on the skin. Cool.

Monday, August 17, 2009

The Taste of Cha

I've resumed my habit of regular consumption of green tea. Every time I do, I think of the legend of how green tea came about:

Bodhidharma set about meditating for nine years facing a wall. After five years he was so sleepy that he could not keep his eyelids open and fell asleep. When he woke up he was so angry about this that he cut of his eyelids and threw them on the ground. The eyelids grew into the first green tea plants. And from henceforth, tea has ever been the companion of monks for mediation (and apparently for geeks and programming as well).

It is said that "the taste of tea (cha) and the taste of Zen (Chan) are the same". In Japanese, the characters for 'tea' and 'eyelids' are both 'cha'.

mmmmmm.....cha tastes good.

Massive EMP

I've often wondered: If a massive EMP (from a nuke or whatever) were to go off, wiping out all our technological achievements (silicon chip designs, computer languages, etc), how long would it take for us to rebuild? Is the knowledge mostly inside us? Or are we standing on the soldiers of giants to such an extent, we would have to invent the wheel all over again?